Tag Archives: dv

“We do have a lot of rights…but they don’t seem as important to people.”

By Dana Fleitman, Program Coordinator

Watch this short video from Women with Disabilities Victoria about the challenges and needs of domestic violence victims who have developmental disabilities. Want to learn more? Register here to join our upcoming National Alliance webinar “Working with Survivors with Developmental Disabilities” with expert speakers Paul Feuerstein (Barrier Free Living), Shirley Paceley (Blue Tower Training) and Nancy Smith (Vera Institute of Justice) on January 17th from 12-1:30pm Eastern.

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Speak Up and Support the Violence Against Women Act

VAWAThe Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) has transformed our nation’s response to violent crimes against women and girls, providing a safety net of services for victims of domestic violence, sexual assault, dating violence, and stalking. Recently, Senators Patrick Leahy (D-VT) and Mike Crapo (R-ID) introduced S. 1925, the Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2011 – legislation that will reauthorize VAWA’s lifesaving programs and services for another five years.

Despite widespread Congressional support in the past, the reauthorization of VAWA in 2012 is far from assured. Please contact your Senators today to urge them to co-sponsor the Leahy/Crapo VAWA reauthorization bill.

Incidents of violence against women and girls continue to occur at alarming rates. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s 2010 National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 1 in 4 women has been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner and nearly 1 in 5 women has been raped in her lifetime.

JWI is playing a leading role in the effort to reauthorize VAWA this year. In the coming weeks and months we will continue to work closely with the National Task Force to End Sexual and Domestic Violence Against Women, Members of Congress and national advocates, to ensure that this legislation is passed by both houses of Congress and signed into law. But we can’t do this without your help.

Contact your Senators today and tell them to stand against violence by co-sponsoring the Leahy/Crapo VAWA reauthorization bill.

There’s no place like home…?

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

This week, the City Council of Topeka, Kansas passed a law decriminalizing domestic violence. The obvious question is “Why?” The answer: To save money. According to an article published by the New York Times, eighteen people have been arrested since September on charges of domestic violence and all of them have been released without charges.

Even in bleak economic times – when the incidence of domestic violence rises – wiping out life-saving programs is not the answer. The City Council’s move will only contribute to further strains on local and national resources. And at the end of the day, no amount of money saved can justify enabling attacks on women and families.

Rihanna’s “Man Down”

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Alexandra Huss, JWI Intern

In a CNN opinion piece, Leslie Morgan Steiner explains why she believes Rihanna’s video for the song “Man Down” sends a positive and important message. The video begins with Rihanna shooting a man on the street, and ultimately flashes back to show that this was a man who had raped her the previous night. Despite the backlash from those who believe the film was too violent, Steiner goes so far as to thank Rihanna for depicting “the rage and vengeance fantasies that often constitute a normal, healthy reaction to rape and domestic violence.” She also believes the video should become mandatory viewing as part of a real world sexual violence awareness campaign.

There are valid points on both sides of the argument. On the one hand, Rihanna’s bold act glorifies the shooting of her attacker, and conveys the message that violence breeds violence, a vicious cycle that domestic violence awareness hopes to end, not perpetuate. Perhaps a scene of Rihanna ultimately coping in a more constructive and realistic manner, such as seeking support and bringing the man to justice legally, could send a far more positive message.

Yet it is also true that so often, victims feel voiceless and helpless, leading them to fantasize about bringing their attacker to justice on their own terms. It is only natural that these emotions can come from such an intense violation of a woman. As Steiner suggests, perhaps what offends and disturbs some viewers is not the death of the rapist, but the portrayal of a victim with regained her inner strength, fighting back.

Rihanna is an artist who has also become a representative for domestic abuse victims because of her own experience. She is a signal of strength, and thus her messages have very far reaching consequences and reactions.

A DV Playlist – Grunge

By Ali Lewis, Database & Web Manager

In the early 90s when I arrived at college, I was introduced to a whole new sound of music. Gone were the pop and soft rock radio days of high school. Older students had their new-fangled music blasting from their dorm rooms or car stereos. Campus DJs played this guitar-driven, hard-bassy music. We wore flannel shirts and ripped jeans and danced to this grimy music with raspy vocals and dark lyrics. And I loved it.

The dark lyrics were just as hard as the music itself. Many about violence, drug abuse, suicide, death. I offer these five songs with themes of abuse, neglect, and rape.

In Nirvana’s “Polly,” a girl is kidnapped and raped. In my research for this post, I found that it’s based on a true story.

Pearl Jam sings about a boy who is neglected by his parents and teased by his classmates, and eventually kills himself in school, in “Jeremy.” This is also the product of real-life stories.

Stone Temple Pilots contemplate, and maybe actually commit, rape in “Sex Type Thing.” The lyrics say “you shouldn’t have worn that dress” and “you know what’s on my mind.”

In Hole’s “Jennifer’s Body,” a women is being abused by her spouse. This lyrics include “sleeping with the enemy” and “my better half has bitten me.”

And I couldn’t make a grunge list without including Alice in Chains. Their music was, without a doubt, the one that I felt the most drawn to. The bass lines and the vocals were like nothing I had ever heard. And after all these years, I’m still taken aback by their sound. Try as I might, I couldn’t find a song that I felt was about domestic abuse per se, so I included their song “Would?” The lyrics start “Know me broken by my master/Teach thee own child of love hereafter/Into the flood again/Same old trip it was back then.” Those lyrics could speak to someone who has been broken, who keeps going back into the same situation. I think it’s actually about drug addiction. But isn’t going back into a bad relationship an addiction too? Something you know is bad for you, but you just keep setting yourself up to have it happen again?

You can view the full playlist on our YouTube Channel.

Abused Heiress – Anne Scripps Douglas

Anne Scripps and Scott Douglas

Anne Scripps and Scott Douglas

Anne Scripps Douglas lived the typical life of a battered woman — the whispered telephone calls, the lies to friends and family, the coded messages to the few she could trust. Like a frightened animal she jumped at every loud sound, each ring of the phone, and most of all at the drunken curses of the man she had once loved but who now terrified her…

Read Mark Gribben’s entire account of the Anne Scripps Douglas story at TruTV online.

Am I Finally Safe?

When my son found my ex-husband dead of an overdose, I had to put my grief aside and be there for my children.

My children witnessed some of the abuse that occurred during my 18-year marriage, but worse, they were forced to witness my ex-husband’s obsessive drive to destroy me after I ended our marriage. I was at high risk of being murdered and had many safety precautions in place: alarms, bars on my windows, a personal protection dog and a lot of education about domestic violence.

I lost all sense of peace for 10 years after we divorced. The abuse continued through my children, broken windows, a car set on fire, a winter coat slashed through the back, and on and on. I could only control my domain and I decided at some point that I had to choose to be happy and peaceful in spite of him. That was a turning point for me.

I had a career teaching but I wanted to counsel others about domestic violence. I went back to school at night and became a school counselor. I have helped many young children, teenage children and mothers through this distressing time in their lives. I want them to know that they do have a future and that they will find peace. The sense of hopelessness is one of the worst human emotions that one can feel. No matter how bad it gets, you must believe that there is so much good in the world—good fathers, good men, good counselors, good women and good neighbors.

My children loved their father even though they knew that he had done many bad things. They were kind to him but kept their distance, especially during the last few years. Now there is much regret, guilt and sadness about how long ago they really lost the man they called “dad.” I see progress also. My son is finally mentally well enough to work. His eyes are soft and brown again with no sign of the blackness I once saw in them. My daughter is getting married and crying about her dad not being there but she will be alright too. My other two daughters are so much alike even though they are 10 years apart in age. They grieve privately.

My reaction to his death? Lots of nightmares where he comes to kill me again. Lots of tears for his parents and my children. Thankfulness that he will no longer suffer or cause great suffering to others. Sadness for the young man I married and wanted to grow old with. Great relief that I don’t have to be afraid of him anymore.

It seemed fitting to me to face my fears and go to his grave. I did not go there to rejoice. I felt fear that he would push up from the ground and grab me. I heard strange animalistic sounds coming from my mouth that I had never heard in my life. I wiped off his headstone with my wet tissue. I forgave him. Then, I  turned and walked away from his grave and it was very empowering. I will never forget what he did to all of us. But I WILL have my peace.

Afghan women hiding for their lives

For years, some women have been considered property in Afghanistan. Now, some are getting help. CNN’s Atia Abawi reports.

KABUL, Afghanistan (CNN) — Shameen’s brown eyes seem lost as she thinks about the one day she wants to forget, but it is all she can think about.

Nearly 90 percent of Afghan women suffer from domestic abuse, according to the U.N.

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Still traumatized, she recounts the events that led her to a safe house in Kabul.

She was raped and nearly stabbed to death by her husband just seven days before we met her.

Her lips are quivering and her eyes full of fear.

“He forced himself on me,” she said. “All I could do was scream.”

She was married off 15 years ago when she was a teenager.

Throughout those years she was tortured and abused, suffering daily beatings with an electrical wire or the metal end of a hammer.

This was her normal life.

Read the full article at cnn.com.

10.30: Where There’s Smoke

Jennifer Jay’s story was recorded by The Moth, a not-for-profit organization devoted to storytelling that breathes modern life into the world’s most ancient art form. Moth evenings feature true stories told by people from all walks of life — legendary artists, retired pick-pockets, scientists, and everyone in between. For more information on touring shows, open mic nights, and free-of-charge community storytelling workshops, visit www.themoth.org.


10.29: Christine

This and other videos in “Run Jane Run,” produced by videographer, photographer and computer artist Lynn Estomin, were created at a “Silence Speaks” digital storytelling workshop for survivors of domestic violence, sponsored by the YWCA of North Central PA.

10.28: “Maria”

“Maria,” a 14-year-old migrant farmworker, is one of many women working out in the fields - thousands of “Marias” who are victims of discrimination, sexual harassment, sexual assault, domestic violence, pesticides and unfair labor conditions. Her art and poetry were sent to JWI through the Domestic Violence Project of Farmworker Legal Services of New York, Inc.

"Before and After"

You see silence

You hear silence

You can almost taste silence

(they think that is beautiful….they think)

You’re also forced to ignore silence

You also choose to ignore silence, because….you want to live

No longer will i stay silent from your abuse

(not so beautiful this time around)

No longer will i be cornered by silence and its impurities

No longer will i be encaged…encaged in you, by you and around you

I was given a voice, too scared to be used until now…..

If ayone is going to be silent ….it’s going to be you……

Yo escucho silencio

Yo veo silencio

Casi puedo saborear el silencio

(piensan que es bello..lo piensan)

Eres forzada a ignorar el silencio

Tambien escoges ignorar el silencio…..porque quieres vivir

Ya nunca mas estare en silencio por t u abuso

(que a estas alturas , ya no es bello…

Ya nunca mas estare acorralada por el silencio y sus impureza

Ya nunca mas estare enjaulada..enjaulada en ti, por ti y alrededor de ti

Se me dio una voz alguna vez, demasiado asustada para usarla hasta ahora…..

Si alguien va a estar en silencio……..vas a ser tu.

10.27: Sole survivor of triple murder talks about domestic violence

“A North Idaho woman nearly killed in a shootout with her estranged husband is now speaking out to about her personal experience with domestic violence as a warning to others. KXLY4′s Jeff Humphrey reports.”

10.26: faces around the seder table

It is Sunday, April 20, 2008, 7:00 p.m. at a synagogue in Cleveland, Ohio. Four women, from different parts of the world, are sitting around the Seder table. What they have in common is that they are all victims of domestic abuse who sought refuge at the Hebrew Shelter Home in Cleveland, Ohio.

One of the women table is Rebecca, who has three small children. Rebecca escaped her husband, a successful business man, social charmer and abuser. She came to Cleveland from Cincinnati because she feared nobody in the observant community she lived in would believe her. She was referred to JFSA by the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Rebecca was relieved to hear of a shelter that would not only provide safety, but also an observant, kosher space for her and her children.

Sitting next to Rebecca is Hannah, a 19-year-old Jewish girl who escaped from her abusive boyfriend, goes to a local community college, and wants to be a teacher. Her boyfriend, six years her senior, was her manager at the McDonald’s restaurant where she worked. After dating for two years, they moved in together. He controlled her every move, called her cell phone every five minutes, and accused her of having an affair. When she told him that she was leaving, he locked her in a closet. Hannah’s mother, who was Jewish, died when Hannah was 15 years old, and her father, who is Catholic, remarried to a woman who was uninterested in Hannah. Hannah has not practiced Judaism since her mother passed, and this is her first Seder in nine years. She is surprised by how safe and reconnected she feels.

Next is Jessica, a 32-year-old Jewish woman with two children who was married for 12 years to her high school sweetheart. Jessica always took his controlling nature as a sign of how much he loved her until his behavior escalated, and she realized she needed a healthier life. Jessica’s husband isolated her from her friends and family. He threatened that if she divorced him, he would make sure she would not ever be with anyone else. She saw a flyer advertising a JFSA Family Violence Services support group for empowering women. Since she began participating in the program, she has received the knowledge, resources, strength and support to leave her husband safely. Jessica has a good job at a local bank, and JFSA is providing her with legal services so that she can get a divorce, obtain a protection order, and receive child support.

The most recent addition to this group is Mrs. T, a 65-year-old woman who came to the Hebrew Shelter Home to escape abuse from her daughter and son-in-law. A widow in Ukraine, she came to the USA to look after her granddaughter. Now that her granddaughter is going off to college, Mrs. T’s daughter and son-in-law are threatening to throw her on the streets. Mrs. T knows that her daughter endures abuse too, but she cannot get through to her. When Mrs.T. read an article in the Russian newspaper about the services at JFSA for domestic abuse victims, she knew she had to get help. Mrs. T has learned how to take the bus, registered for English classes, and made friends at the Hebrew Shelter Home. She has obtained affordable housing and a part-time job through the resources offered to her. Sitting at the Seder table with her new friends, she is thinking of all they have in common. They are all Jewish survivors of domestic abuse, and more importantly, with the support of the community, they are all becoming empowered women who are not merely surviving, but thriving.

10.25: Judgment Day

Originally published in People magazine, November 06, 2000 (Vol. 54, No. 19)

After 15 Years, a Surgeon Stands Convicted of Killing His Long-Missing Wife

Robert Bierenbaum stood in perfect silence as the verdict was read at his murder trial on Oct. 24, but his appearance spoke volumes. As the jury forewoman pronounced the once-proud plastic surgeon guilty of murdering his wife, Gail Katz Bierenbaum, whose body he is believed to have dumped in the Atlantic Ocean from a plane in the summer of 1985, the defendant turned ashen, while across the courtroom a somber celebration was beginning among members of the victim’s family. “We got him, Gail,” her brother Steven Katz said moments later on the steps of the state supreme court in Manhattan. “I’m sorry it took us 15 years, but we got him.”

So ended the trial of Dr. Robert Bierenbaum, 45, a cruel and exacting husband who lashed out lethally at his wife at the very moment she threatened to leave him. Police never recovered the 29-year-old victim’s body or any other physical evidence linking her husband to the crime, leaving prosecutors to argue a circumstantial case. But the evidence was compelling nonetheless, including proof of Bierenbaum’s violent temper and a flight log prosecutors say he altered in a botched attempt to hide his actions on the afternoon of his wife’s death. In the end it took jurors less than seven hours to find him guilty of second-degree murder. “I won’t say I’m surprised,” said Steven Katz, 30, after the verdict, “because that would mean I didn’t believe…that he was the one who murdered my sister.”

Certainly it had never been a secret that Robert and Gail Katz Bierenbaum’s three-year marriage was troubled. Gail, a psychology graduate student at the time of her death, was an emotionally vulnerable two-time college dropout when she met Bierenbaum, a handsome doctor so intellectually gifted that he had finished medical school at 22 and spoke several languages. “Gail used to say Bob was very impressive—on paper,” says Gail’s sister, attorney Alayne Katz, now 42.

But behind the brilliant résumé lurked a dark personality given to violence. Just a month before the couple wed in 1982, Bierenbaum, furious at the attention Gail lavished on her cat, tried to kill the animal by drowning it in a toilet bowl. The following year, as jurors learned during the three-week trial, he caught his wife smoking a cigarette on the balcony of the couple’s Upper East Side apartment and choked her until she lost consciousness. “He was having so much trouble reviving her that he had to call 911,” psychiatric social worker Marianne DeCesare, a friend to whom Gail later confided the story, told the court on Oct. 5.

But Gail didn’t press charges after the incident and, following a brief separation, returned to her husband. “Like a lot of people in unhappy marriages, Gail had one foot in and one foot out,” says Alayne.

Born in Brooklyn, Gail was the oldest of three children of the late Emanuel Katz, president of a firm that printed company names on pens and pencils, and his wife, Sylvia, who worked at a card shop the couple owned. When Gail was in fourth grade, she moved with her family to Bellmore in suburban Long Island. After two years at the State University of New York in Albany, she eventually returned to New York City, where she briefly studied dance therapy at New York University and ended up working as a secretary at an advertising agency. In 1979, at 23, she attempted suicide by slashing her wrists after a breakup with a boy-friend. “She wasn’t happy with where she was in life,” says Alayne.

Then, two years later, a friend introduced Gail Katz to Bierenbaum, the son of a well-to-do physician from New Jersey. The two moved in together and were soon engaged to be married—a commitment Gail was unwilling to break even after the incident involving her cat. As the relationship progressed, Bierenbaum asked Gail to quit her job, told her to dress more conservatively and pressed her to finish college—which she did, completing a bachelor’s degree in psychology at Hunter College in Manhattan. “He was a terrible control freak,” says Steven, now a financial advisor. “But Gail was an eternal optimist. Maybe she thought she could change some of his ways.”

After Bierenbaum nearly strangled her in 1983, Gail was urged to get out of the marriage by a psychiatrist whom she and Robert had seen. According to witnesses at the trial, Gail came to the same decision herself about a year later. By that time, she had had at least two affairs and the marriage seemed irretrievably broken. “She wasn’t without blame,” says Alayne. “None of which rises to the level of murder.” In fact, Alayne testified that by the morning of July 7, 1985, the day she was killed, Gail was preparing to leave her husband and was considering moving in with her latest love. She chatted with a friend on the phone at 10:30 a.m.; when another friend called 40 minutes later, Robert said Gail wasn’t available.

Bierenbaum later told police his wife had stormed out of their Manhattan apartment following an argument and never returned. But he did not report her missing for 30 hours. Although he initially cooperated with investigators, he abruptly stopped speaking to police after they questioned him about the cat and strangulation episodes a few days later. It would be another year before cops discovered that Bierenbaum had rented a Cessna 172 for a two-hour flight over the Atlantic from an airport in Caldwell, N.J. But at the time, with no body and no sign of a struggle at the Bierenbaum apartment—which police failed to search until months after Gail’s disappearance—the investigation came to a standstill.

Bierenbaum, who began dating again within three weeks, started a new life, first in Las Vegas and then in Minot, N.Dak., where he was running a successful plastic surgery practice. He was living with his new wife, obstetrician Janet Chollet, and their 2-year-old daughter, when he was finally indicted for the 15-year-old murder last December, after investigators learned that he had altered a date in the flight log to make it appear that his mystery flight had taken place a month later than it actually had. After the guilty verdict—Bierenbaum will be sentenced Nov. 12—Alayne Katz credited New York police detective Thomas O’Malley, who continued to investigate on his own time, for keeping the case alive. “He never gave up,” she says.

Nor did the victim’s family. For years after her daughter was last seen alive, Gail’s mother, Sylvia Katz, periodically left messages on Bierenbaum’s answering machine, calling him a murderer. Sylvia, like her husband, Emanuel, died of cancer before their daughter’s killer was brought to justice, but her surviving children fully appreciate the vindication that she was denied. Said Alayne after the verdict: “I don’t ever want to talk about Robert Bierenbaum again. He got what he deserved.”

Patrick Rogers
Sharon Cotliar and Steve Erwin in New York City

10.24: “Children See, Children Do”

public service announcement, U.K.