Passover—the Festival of Chocolate

By Sue Tomchin, Editor, Jewish Woman magazine

While matzoh is the central food for Passover, chocolate seems to be running a close second. At my neighborhood supermarket (and granted I live in an area where many Jews reside) I discovered more than 60 types of chocolate candy on the shelves! And in some places, you can even find chocolate Seders—the matzoh eaten is chocolate-covered; four cups of chocolate milk are drunk instead of wine and Hillel’s sandwich is a s’more.

If your taste runs more to using chocolate as treat rather than the main event at Seder, check out the Passover selection from Illinois Nut and Candy. Each year, this Skokie, Ill.-based business, seems to come up with new ideas based on Seder themes. New this year—the 4 Questions—in chocolate, packaged in a gift box. Also available—in kosher, pareve chocolate—are Miriam’s Cup on a stick ($2.75); Afikomon Pop ($2.75); the Four Sons ($10); the 10 Plagues ($19.95) and green frogs ($9.75).

Marijuana, Alcohol and Domestic Violence Controversy

By Dana Fleitman, Program Coordinator

In Denver, Colorado, a controversial political billboard read “Reduce family and community violence in Denver: vote yes on I-100,” a proposal to legalize marijuana. The following is a discussion from Good Day Colorado where guests debate the connection between alcohol, drug use and domestic violence.

Want to learn more about the intersection of domestic violence and substance abuse? Register now to join the National Alliance to End Domestic Abuse on Thursday, March 21^st from noon to 1:30pm Eastern for our upcoming webinar, “Substance Abuse and Intimate Partner Violence.” This webinar will explore the connection between substance abuse and intimate partner violence, focusing on best practices for working with perpetrators and victims with co-occurring substance abuse issues, as well as coordination/integration of substance abuse and domestic violence intervention.

These Frogs are Kosher for Seder

By Sue Tomchin, Editor, Jewish Woman magazine

The mad dash toward Passover has begun: Whom do we invite to Seder? What will we serve?  How can we possibly get everything done and still meet the project deadlines at work? How can we make the Seder fun for our five-year-old—and meaningful for our adult guests? I’ve decided to start gathering a few suggestions to help. Here’s the first:

I don’t know what brilliant person invented the plagues gear—the now familiar collection of plastic frogs, finger puppets, ping pong balls (for hail) and other paraphernalia that plays an annual role in keeping kids, and let’s face it, many adults, awake during Seder. I do know that it opened the door to a spirit of playfulness that has helped to make the Seder a heap more entertaining than it used to be. As far I’m concerned anything that gets kids (and even blasé adults) to ask questions about the story of the Exodus is good for Seder. In this vein, and with a nod to creating an attractive and fun Seder table, I discovered these new shiny tree frog salt and pepper shakers from Pottery Barn. They are attractive and at $24.50 they are so reasonably priced you can even invest in the matching napkin rings.

Do you have any products or ideas that you use to make your Seder table attractive and fun for your guests?

Substance Abuse and Intimate Partner Violence – Basic Facts

By Dana Fleitman, Program Coordinator

The relationship between substance abuse and domestic violence is complex; while there is no causal link, there is a statistical significance. This NCADV Fact Sheet reveals key facts on the intersection of these issues, including:

• Regular alcohol abuse is one of the leading risk factors for intimate partner violence
• Batterers living with victims who have alcohol abuse problems often try to justify their violence as a way to control their victims when they are drunk
• Women who have been abused are fifteen times more likely to abuse alcohol and nine times more likely to abuse drugs than women who have not been abused
• 51% of domestic violence program directors agree that a woman’s use of alcohol can be a barrier to leaving a violent relationship
• 61% of domestic violence offenders also have substance abuse problems

Register now to join the National Alliance to End Domestic Abuse on Thursday, March 21^st from noon to 1:30pm Eastern for our upcoming webinar, “Substance Abuse and Intimate Partner Violence.” This webinar will explore the connection between substance abuse and intimate partner violence, focusing on best practices for working with perpetrators and victims with co-occurring substance abuse issues, as well as coordination/integration of substance abuse and domestic violence intervention.

How I Taught My Teenaged Daughter About Money

By Cindy Minetti

Getting tired of being the Bank of Mom?  Handing out money every weekend for the mall, movies, food, the mall, make-up, the mall?  Worry that your daughter will know what it is like to live within a budget?

My family tried many approaches to money management, some more successful than others, and some lasting only as long as it took to purchase the desired item.  Allowance: it never seemed to be enough; Paying for chores: once she got the money, the chores stopped or were only completed with nagging;  Finally, we just became the parental ATM: doling out $10 or $20 at a clip, arguing about whether she really needed the new pair of pants or more itunes money.

Last spring, when my daughter Rachel was in 9^th grade, and weekend trips to the mall and hanging out with friends became much more frequent, we decided to try a new approach.  Rachel gets paid monthly for being our kid!  Yes, this is much like an allowance, but we are trying to teach her money management and the concept of paying for her expenses. For about 6 weeks, to get a baseline, I tracked what I spent on her and when I gave her money.  This included everything from clothes to make-up to activities with her friends to birthday presents.  I wanted the monthly amount to be something she could live with, and not ask for extra money for everything out of the ordinary.

We opened a checking account in her name (and mine) so she could have a debit card but there is no overdraft, so she can’t overdraw and get charged lots of fees.  (Note:  I worked with the bank to set this up.  The account is linked to our overall banking relationship so we have no fees or minimum balance. Rachel can only see her account online and not ours.)  Each month, I deposit money into her account and she pays her expenses.  Our agreement is that I will pay for family items and basic necessities, including required clothes for school under the school dress code.  She pays for everything else – fun clothes and shoes, magazines, make-up, social activities, Starbucks – everything.  Her money must last the month, so if she buys a lot of things the first week, she may not have enough to go to lunch with her friends the last Saturday.

So 10 months later, does this work?  A resounding YES! There have been some growing pains – friends’ birthdays can take a big chunk of money, so we supplement some of that.  And just because something can be worn to school, it doesn’t automatically get bought by me – once she did her back to school shopping, the rest was her responsibility.  And I definitely have to “bite my tongue” when she goes online and shops the first week of the month and buys a $30 headband!  But each month, she plans out her spending, gives tzedakah, puts away some money for future concerts or more expensive items, and only asked for a “loan” twice.  She also learned a good lesson about shipping and return costs when ordering from online merchandisers.  Rachel has learned to check her account online, use a debit card, budget, and most importantly be more independent financially.  I hope the transition to college is this smooth!

5 Credit Lessons Every Parent Should Teach Their Daughters

“If a kid breaks in a school and no one around chooses to hear it, do they make a sound?”

By Dana Fleitman, Program Coordinator

As Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM) comes to a close, it is important to think about the different challenges adolescents may face, both inside and outside of their romantic relationships. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that bullying has been on the rise; a 2009 survey showed that one in five high school students had experienced bullying at school, and 25% of public schools reported that bullying occurred among  students on a daily or weekly basis. A new NIH study shows that bullying has powerful lifelong impacts on both the perpetrator and the victim, and children who are bullied may suffer from anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts into adulthood.

This innovative, powerful and moving combination of spoken word and animation – the To This Day Project by Shane Koyczan – is a poignant reminder of the impacts of bullying and childhood trauma and the importance of promoting positive and healthy relationships for young people.

Purim: A Tale of Women’s Empowerment

Purim, which is observed this weekend, commemorates that the Jewish people in the ancient Persian empire were saved from a plot to destroy them. Since the Jewish people were saved by Esther, a woman, Purim is the perfect time to reflect on the lessons of women’s empowerment that we can learn from the women in the biblical Purim story. JWI’s director of programs Deborah Rosenbloom explored these lessons on Huffington Post. Read the article. 

Want to learn more? Download JWI’s Purim study guide, Rethinking Purim: Women, Relationships & Jewish Texts.