Talking to our daughters about money

by Susan Jerison, JWI Director of Communications

“What exactly is this program about?” asked my 14 year-old daughter Emily just before JWI’s mother-daughter Life$avings program Sunday afternoon near Washington, DC. Both of  my teenage daughters, plus one of their friends, joined me for this unique opportunity for moms and teen girls to talk about the importance of money smarts. An open dialogue and sound financial decisions are critical for women. Too often – even today – they learn too late that they need to be full partners in their own finances, and that “someone to watch over them” is not a guarantee – or even necessarily a good idea.

Emily and I talked about retirement savings, college accounts, if my husband and I own stocks, and why it is so important to begin saving money from an early age. She was interested to learn that I had been putting retirement money away since early in my career. The cost of college surprised her. She learned about college savings funds and why my husband and I had invested in them. We talked about investment choices, and the value we place in saving and planning for the future. I said to her, “you know the envelopes that come in the mail each month, those are statements about our investments.” Instead of talking about money for the weekend’s expenses, we talked at a whole different level – about the power of money and choices and about the future.

At the event, my girls and the 150 other people in the room heard from Marla Malcolm Beck, the founder and CEO of Blue Mercury, who shared some of her life lessons. She brought her two adorable young girls along with her – I assume to begin teaching them. Marla said she always loved the cosmetics business and wanted to be part of it. She talked about pursuing dreams, working hard, earning your own money from an early age, and not being afraid to fail. She gave practical advice and an inspiring message. And she impressed the girls even further by donating goody bags filled with samples they could take home.

JWI invests in educating women and girls about money because we know that women have fewer choices without financial resources. This program (and others for teens) is available to organizations and synagogues around the country. Contact us if you’d like to bring Life$avings to your community! And at the very least, be sure to talk to your daughters about money and what it really means.

Raising Awareness in October, Recommitting to End Domestic Violence Every Day

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

The JWI staff dressed in purple on Thursday, October 27, 2011 to honor those we've lost, celebrate those who've survived and recommit to ending domestic violence.

Highlighting this issue during Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a crucial step in combatting this epidemic that affects us all, one way or another, 365 days a year. This month JWI tweeted one domestic violence statistic each day; updated our blog with stories and news about domestic violence this month; hosted a briefing with the Interfaith Domestic Violence Coalition to educate U.S. legislators and their staff about the importance of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA); distributed a prayer, created by our Clergy Task Force, for abuse victims; and wrote in Jewish Woman magazine about four dedicated activists who are working every day to end gender-based violence. Each of these efforts was earnest and effective, but even collectively, they only scratch the surface of the work needed to bring an end to domestic violence. Please keep in touch with JWI throughout the year to help us continue our critical work to empower girls and women, and break the cycle of abuse. And let us know what you’ve done this DVAM.

Domestic Violence & Children

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Alexandra Huss, JWI Intern

The Makers of Memories Foundation has created a powerful video that shares domestic violence statistics and weaves them together with images and music to paint the true terror of a child living with domestic violence.

The video shows how far-reaching abuse can be – as it stays with the children throughout their lives – and demonstrates the urgency and intense care that the issue of domestic violence deserves. The last statistic in the video says that in 2010, more money was collected to protect native birds in the US than to protect children in unsafe homes. We need to make protecting these children a priority, and speak up to bring the issue of the forefront of our cultural consciousness. We must break the cycle of violence to create a better, stronger future for these children, and for generations to follow.

For more stats on domestic violence, follow us on twitter (@JewishWomenIntl) where we are tweeting out a stat a day throughout DVAM, or visit our website to view all 31 stats.

Getting Involved with Anti-DV work

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Rabbi Richard Hirsh, executive director of the Reconstructionist Rabbinical Association and the co-chair of JWI’s Clergy Task Force on Domestic Abuse

Rabbi Richard Hirsh

When I stepped into the position of Executive Director of the Philadelphia Board of Rabbis in 1988, I inherited an already-planned program on countering domestic violence in the Jewish community. Rabbi Julie Spitzer (z”l) was the speaker, and she was among the first and few people bringing this issue to the attention of the Jewish community. After her challenging presentation, in which she outlined ‘best practices’ one of our senior (male) colleagues ‘explained’ that such things don’t happen in the Jewish community, and even if they did, all we rabbis needed to do was call up the husband, have the two of them in, explain that this is not nice, and shalom bayit (peaceful home) is a Jewish value. Rabbi Spitzer replied that was precisely the wrong thing to do, putting the woman who had come forward at risk. Our senior colleague replied “you’re young, you’ll see, it’s not such a big deal.”

When I worked in a synagogue outside of Chicago in 1994, our local Board of Rabbis had a program on countering domestic violence in the Jewish community. The change in those few years was remarkable. No one denied the issue was present. No one contested the “best practices” shared by the guest speaker from Shalva, the Chicago-area Jewish agency working with DV. No one suggested that “we rabbis” knew better. But when I placed those now-common tear-off posters with hotline numbers in the washrooms of our synagogue, another staff member removed them because “we have a lot of guests at Bar and Bat Mitzva services, and this is a busha (embarrassment) for the Jewish community.”

When I began to teach at the Reconstructionist Rabbinical College in 1998, and designed a course that included guest speakers on important areas, I began inviting professionals from JWI to come and explain the issues of DV, best practices of response, roles rabbis can play, and how to help put out the word that people affected by DV can find a safe space for discussion with a rabbi.

Each generation of rabbis improves on the previous ones — not because the prior ones were deficient but because the issues and approaches change, and we have learned that Jews, like every other population, are subject to social, familial, economic and other distresses and dangers.

And there is still the denial of the larger community in which we live. On the day I wrote this post, the NY Times carried an article titled “Facing Cuts, a City Repeals Its Domestic Violence Law” as if the victims of DV were simply a budgetary expense like tree-trimming. We still have a long way to go.

DVAM on College Campuses

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Aria Amrom, JWI Intern

While college students are preoccupied with midterms, fall breaks, and their upcoming Halloween plans, domestic violence awareness month (DVAM) generally goes unnoticed. As a current George Washington University student, I was under the impression that domestic violence was irrelevant to young adults. However, after some research I discovered these unsettling statistics:

• Approximately 30 percent of college students have been in relationships that involve physical aggression. Even more have been in relationships that are emotionally abusive.
• One of five college females will experience some form of dating violence.
• A survey of adolescent and college students revealed that date rape accounted for 67 percent of sexual assaults.
• Approximately 90 percent of victims of sexual assault on college campuses know their attacker.

As I did further research, I discovered that many colleges are beginning to become more involved in DVAM and increase awareness amongst students. The University of Maryland has put red flags and posters around campus, as part of the Red Flag Campaign, a public awareness project which began in 2007 to increase the awareness and knowledge of dating violence on college campuses. Using a “bystander intervention” strategy, the program encourages friends to say something when they see signs of violence in their friends’ relationships.

There is definitely more that can be done to educate young men and women on domestic violence and how it impacts their life. One way to start is to join thousands of people in wearing purple on October 29th. “Purple Thursday Awareness Day” raises awareness and celebrates domestic violence survivors.

When I walk around my  campus, I always come across students advocating for different causes or promoting different organizations. While George Washington University is very politically involved and supports many important issues, I have yet to see anything about domestic violence awareness month around school. In order to do my part, I have encouraged my sorority to wear purple on October 29th. Although this is only a small step, anything that can be done to encourage attention and knowledge is important. Everyone connects the color pink to breast cancer awareness, and it is my hope that one day domestic violence awareness will become so widespread, that it will come to mind when people see the color purple.

What are YOU doing to promote DVAM at your college?  Bring the Red Flag Campaign to your school or ask your friends to wear purple on “Purple Thursday Awareness Day”!

National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline: 1-866-331-9474
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Do It for Your Daughters

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Kim Oster-Holstein, president/CEO, and CIO of Kim & Scott’s Pretzels, former JWI ‘Woman to Watch’, and a member of JWI’s Board of Trustees.

Kim Oster-Holstein

It was a speech made by a young woman at the JWI Women to Watch luncheon in Washington, DC, last December that really moved me… and caught my attention about domestic violence.

She was a well-educated beautiful young woman who shared her story of a relationship she had with a young man. He had started out as a nice high school boyfriend, but as the relationship grew, he started treating her worse and worse. He would manipulate her and play games with her mind to keep her trapped in his abuse, and she was afraid for her life. Eventually she found the courage to tell her parents, and she luckily left the relationship. The boyfriend made it quite difficult with his manipulative ways, making her think he loved her. She shared how her self-esteem was so wounded from the abusive relationship that she could not see the reality of what was happening.

At the luncheon, her speech was so authentic and courageous. As I sat with my two daughters, ages 7 and 10 at the time, I couldn’t help but think about their futures and the relationships they would encounter as they grew up. I thought about how important it is to empower our girls and teach them about their inner strength, independence, self-esteem and believing in themselves. This is the heart of JWI and its mission in the world.

Her speech at that luncheon impacted me in such a huge way. I felt a yearning to do all I can to help JWI in this important mission to empower women and girls.  We have the opportunity and the responsibility to raise a new generation of girls, and I want to be a part of it in whatever way I can….for my girls, and for girls everywhere.

Is Murder Ever Justified?

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Rachel Sandler, JWI Intern

Last month, Barbara Sheehan went to trail for brutally killing her husband in February, 2008, by shooting him 11 times with two guns. Was this the act of psychotic killer, or was this the act of a desperate woman finally taking a stand?

To this end, we must ask ourselves, is murder ever justified?

Ms. Sheehan was brutally abused throughout her marriage, a fact to which her two adult children will testify in court. The abuse detailed so far in the trial is enough to convince anyway her life was in serious danger.

The line between self-defense and murder is a fine and rocky line, and one that countless battered women encounter. JWI’s National Alliance to End Domestic Abuse ran training on this topic in June 2011. The webinar is available for download.

As part of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we must ensure that no more women reach this stage of desperation. We need to stop domestic abuse in its tracks, so that no more women risk going to jail to defend themselves.

The Interfaith Domestic Violence Coalition Calls on Congress to Support Crucial Domestic Violence Legislation

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Susan Jersion, Director of Marketing and Communications

This morning the Interfaith Domestic Violence Coalition, convened by JWI, invited members of Congress and their staffs to a briefing on faith communities and the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). This signature, critical piece of legislation provides much of the federal funding for domestic violence prevention and education.  VAWA is up for reauthorization this year and despite the many gains made since the law first passed in 1981, supporters are concerned that critical services could be cut or lose federal funding all together.

Speakers at VAWA interfaith briefing. L-R: Sahar D. Sattarzadeh, Interfaith Community Against Domestic Violence; Rev. Dr. Susan Newman, All Souls Church; Loribeth Weinstein, Jewish Women International; Ambreen Ahmed, FAITH Social Services; Rev. Dr. Anne Marie Hunter, Safe Havens Interfaith Partnership Against Domestic Violence.

The moderator of the event, Rev. Dr. Anne Marie Hunter, spoke about what she called a “pre-VAWA world,” a world in which there were few shelters, limited services for victims, and no court advocates to help.  She said that there wasn’t even a language to describe this violence – people didn’t talk about domestic abuse, battered women, or “power and control”.  As a survivor of domestic violence herself, she felt completely alone when coming out of an abusive relationship in the late 1970s.  The world was silent; the systems didn’t exist to help her.

After this moving introduction by Rev. Hunter, speakers on the panel talked about the “post-VAWA world”. They highlighted the work of their faith-based organizations to bring services to victims, to educate their communities and to develop partnerships with social service agencies, police and the court system.  The speakers —Christian, Ba’hai, Muslim, Jewish —said that there is much more work to be done, but that VAWA funding and the resulting community partnerships have helped them create a different paradigm.  They highlighted the critical role that religious communities play in providing support, education, and training.

JWI’s executive director, Lori Weinstein, pointed out the challenges ahead in the VAWA reauthorization process and said that it is critically important, especially in this economic climate, for Members from both sides of the aisle to support full funding for the bill.  JWI will continue to work for the passage of this legislation and provide action alerts and updates so that we all can continue to be in touch with our members of Congress to advocate for support.

Changes in DV Activism Over the Years

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Toby Myers*

Read about Toby and other Jewish women leading the domestic violence movement in Jewish Woman magazine’s The Power of Advocacy.

Reflecting on the 35 years I’ve spent working to end violence against women, I realize I have borne witness to change.  Some changes document progress.  JWI, a mainstream organization, embraced the work and has taken a leadership role. 

The old days were fun and though the goal seemed far off and impossible, it did not deter early activists.  Many regarded us as crazy women running the streets trying to get the attention of whomever we could.  That we did!  The work has entered all citadels of the establishment–the Federal Government with the country’s Office on Violence Against Women; academia with courses, research, and even majors; medicine—the Joint Commission Accreditations with inclusion of domestic violence; criminal justice with prosecution that what was always criminal but tolerated in families; and faith communities with conveying concern from pulpits.  JWI’s Clergy Task Force’s recently released Mishaberach is but one example.

The more we accomplish, the more we discover still left to do.  Women survivors charged in criminal cases are being convicted, losing children, living in poverty, facing deportation, and losing jobs.  Our work has sought to include men because we know that if women could have stopped domestic violence, it would no longer exist.  When our activism changes public opinion to tolerate domestic abuse no longer, eradication comes closer to reality.

*Toby Myers serves as vice chair of the National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence and volunteers with the Houston-based teen violence prevention program “Love Shouldn’t Hurt.” She also devotes much of her energy to working with attorneys on domestic violence cases and training others to become expert witnesses. She is co-chair of Advisory Committee for JWI’s National Alliance to End Domestic Abuse. 

Monsters in the Closet

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Alexandra Huss, JWI Intern

In “Monsters in the Closet,” a new PSA produced and funded by the Verizon Foundation and supported by the National Domestic Violence Hotline, we see the devastating effects of abuse through a young girl’s eyes. This video, the latest of Verizon’s efforts to break the cycle of abuse, depicts the powerful, devastatingly heavy emotions involved in a broken home, and what you can do to break the cycle. It is PSAs like these that spark necessary conversations, heightening awareness.

Children often learn of the effects of drug, smoking, and alcohol addiction from commercials before they learn about them in school. Now, domestic violence, especially from the voice of a young girl’s perspective, can be added to this category of attained knowledge, and for many children, a newfound understanding that there is help to be had in their own situation. Efforts such as Verizon’s awareness campaign are crucial to ensure that victims of abuse know they are not alone.

The Verizon Foundation has a longstanding commitment to domestic violence prevention, and has been a great partner in JWI’s National Library Initiative, which builds children’s libraries in domestic violence shelters across the country.

There’s no place like home…?

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

This week, the City Council of Topeka, Kansas passed a law decriminalizing domestic violence. The obvious question is “Why?” The answer: To save money. According to an article published by the New York Times, eighteen people have been arrested since September on charges of domestic violence and all of them have been released without charges.

Even in bleak economic times – when the incidence of domestic violence rises – wiping out life-saving programs is not the answer. The City Council’s move will only contribute to further strains on local and national resources. And at the end of the day, no amount of money saved can justify enabling attacks on women and families.

Don’t Play Along with Domestic Violence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

image courtesy of Piccsy

By Rachel Sandler, JWI Intern

Barbie is perfect,
Barbie is divine,
Barbie is happy and keeps saying she’s fine.

Barbie is lying,
She doesn’t know what to do.

Barbie is bleeding,
Barbie is scared,
Barbie’s blue eyes are dashed with despair.

Barbie is your friend, your sister, your neighbor,
Her Ken is a monster; we must try and save her.

Rape Victims at 3, 4 Years Old

By Miri Cypers, Senior Policy and Advocacy Specialist

Photo by Cate Turton/Department for International Development

Violence against women cannot be tolerated in any situation, in any place in the world. Nicholas Kristof calls attention to the devastating sexual violence taking place in Sierra Leone in his recent op-ed published in last Sunday’s New York Times. In the article, Kristof draws attention to the International Violence Against Women Act (IVAWA), a vital piece of legislation introduced last Congress that must be reintroduced. IVAWA would make ending violence against women a diplomatic priority for the first time in our nation’s history.

JWI continues to work to ensure a safer world for women and girls at home and abroad. For updates on IVAWA and to urge for its reintroduction and swift passage this Congress, please subscribe to JWI’s advocacy network for up to date information about this bill.

Rihanna’s “Man Down”

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Pass it on.

By Alexandra Huss, JWI Intern

In a CNN opinion piece, Leslie Morgan Steiner explains why she believes Rihanna’s video for the song “Man Down” sends a positive and important message. The video begins with Rihanna shooting a man on the street, and ultimately flashes back to show that this was a man who had raped her the previous night. Despite the backlash from those who believe the film was too violent, Steiner goes so far as to thank Rihanna for depicting “the rage and vengeance fantasies that often constitute a normal, healthy reaction to rape and domestic violence.” She also believes the video should become mandatory viewing as part of a real world sexual violence awareness campaign.

There are valid points on both sides of the argument. On the one hand, Rihanna’s bold act glorifies the shooting of her attacker, and conveys the message that violence breeds violence, a vicious cycle that domestic violence awareness hopes to end, not perpetuate. Perhaps a scene of Rihanna ultimately coping in a more constructive and realistic manner, such as seeking support and bringing the man to justice legally, could send a far more positive message.

Yet it is also true that so often, victims feel voiceless and helpless, leading them to fantasize about bringing their attacker to justice on their own terms. It is only natural that these emotions can come from such an intense violation of a woman. As Steiner suggests, perhaps what offends and disturbs some viewers is not the death of the rapist, but the portrayal of a victim with regained her inner strength, fighting back.

Rihanna is an artist who has also become a representative for domestic abuse victims because of her own experience. She is a signal of strength, and thus her messages have very far reaching consequences and reactions.

This Year’s Fearless, Female Nobel Peace Prize Recipients

By Rachel Sandler, JWI intern

Today, the Norwegian Nobel Committee announced that it has awarded the Nobel Peace Prize to three outstanding female activists, Leymah Gbowee and Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia and Tawakul Karman of Yemen. JWI celebrates their tremendous accomplishments, which you can read about below

Leymah Gbowee of Liberia: In a time of devastating war, Leymah headed the Liberian peace protest organization Women for Peace. What began as singing and praying in a fish market ended in forcing President Charles Taylor to peace talks in Ghana and ultimately the establishment of a peace agreement.

Ellen Johnson Sirleaf of Liberia: Following the work of Women for Peace in ending the war in Liberia, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf became the first female president not only in Liberia, but in all Africa in 2005. She took over a nation in deep poverty still struggling to recover from civil war. She has since fought tirelessly to restore equality, justice and hope to her nation.

Tawakul Karman of Yemen: Tawakul Karman was responsible for bringing thousands of Yemenis to the streets to protest for democracy. Tawakul created a human rights advocacy group called Women Journalists without Chains in 2005 and continues to regularly leads anti- government demonstrations and sit-ins.