Stories of DVAM: Caroline Griggs

This past August in Oklahoma City, 20 year old Caroline Griggs was shot and killed in the middle of a park surrounded by school children when her estranged boyfriend, 25 year old Ricky Knowles opened fire. Knowles had a history of violence, including arrests for domestic assaults against Caroline.

For Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we are honoring the women who lost their lives at the hand of their husbands and boyfriends by sharing the stories of those who have been affected by the lethal intersection of gun violence and domestic abuse.

More than half (54%) of women killed by guns in the U.S. are murdered by a current or former dating partner or spouse. Federal law only prohibits the purchase of guns by a person who has been convicted of a felony, not a misdemeanor crime like domestic violence. The loophole in the current law is allowing domestic violence incidents to escalate to murder when an abuser can lawfully purchase or possess a firearm.

These are the stories we hear daily in this line of work. Stories like Caroline’s remind us why we work so hard to strengthen gun laws and spare the lives of American women.

Tell Congress to support closing dangerous loopholes in federal firearms protections for victims of dating violence and stalking.

The Evil on Modern Campuses

By Lori Weinstein, CEO/Executive Director, JWILoriWeinstein

While I’ve never called out another woman, I have a problem with Camille Paglia. Here, I’m talking about her recent post on, “The Modern Campus Cannot Comprehend Evil.” In less than 750 words, she summarily dismisses the issue of assault on college campuses, denigrates women and attempts to set the domestic violence movement back decades. Her post is dangerous, misleading and ill-informed. When a 20 year old man takes advantage of an inexperienced 18 year old woman in order to have sex with her against her will, Camille, this is not a case of mixed consent, or “oafish hookup melodrama.” It is rape. Rape is not just committed by psychotic strangers. It is committed by acquaintances and friends and lovers. It is not about the animalistic male sexuality that responds uncontrollably to provocatively dressed co-eds. Rape is about power and control and is has become an epidemic on our nation’s campuses.

There is no hierarchy. We do not put predators at the top of the list and sexual assault on college campuses at the bottom. Violence is violence is violence.

We used to segment violence—stranger rape vs date rape. But rape is rape. And violence is violence. Paglia writes as if those women who were sexually assaulted against their will by another student should just shake it off—feel lucky that they weren’t the victim of a real crime. That they have no right to complain because somehow their attacks are less than.

Lilly Jay at the launch of White House Initiative

Lilly Jay at the launch of White House Initiative “It’s On Us.” Photo by Nicole Radivilov | Contributing Photo Editor, GW Hatchet.

So explain that to young women like Lilly Jay, who was raped as a freshman at Amherst and spoke last week at the White House about her struggle to “reclaim college.” Understand what actually happens here—imagine, being raped or assaulted and having to sit in class or walk the hallways with your assailant. Could you concentrate on your studies? Imagine being all to certain that any attempt to report the attack will go nowhere—or worse, that you’ll have to confront your attacker face to face only to have him exonerated because maybe you were drinking. Or were wearing a crop top. Or didn’t say no that final time.

So, you stay quiet. Or transfer. The physical and psychological pain forever scarring.

Just today, the University of Oregon, a school not even named on the list of 55 colleges under investigation by the U.S. Department of Education about their handling of sexual assaults, released the results of a survey that 10 percent of the students surveyed were raped and 90 percent of the students assaulted, never spoke of the violence.

And Paglia thinks colleges should “stick to academics and stop their infantilizing supervision of students’ dating lives.” Camille, it is the colleges’ responsibility to protect our students, even if that means from each other. More than responsibility, it is law. Our universities are charged with creating safe environments. The danger is not in violating civil liberties, the danger is when colleges are not honest about the number of complaints they do get; when they aren’t in compliance with the Clery Act or Title IX; when they protect star athletes; and leave women walking home alone and afraid.

Fact sheet: Paid sick days

By Sara Yufa, JWI

Unpaid sick leave forces millions of Americans to sacrifice pay and risk losing their jobs when they, or a family member, become ill.  Yet in the United States there is no federal standard for paid sick days. nonsense     Women suffer disproportionately from this injustice since this happens:tumblr_mnvi5zzwi11rarypbo1_500   More often than this:  tumblr_n878wnJrdO1tg7u77o1_500Women are usually the party responsible for caring for their sick children.UStuw0TPaid sick leave is good for stronger businesses and the economy at large! Proven by successful national models, paid sick days foster financial security and healthy and productive work environments. a-b-yay   The Facts:

  • More than 40 million American workers cannot earn a single paid sick day to use when they get common illnesses.


  • Millions more cannot earn time to care for a sick child or family member.


  • Overwhelmingly, mothers have primary responsibility for selecting their children’s doctors and accompanying them to appointments.


  • Nearly half of mothers report that they must miss work when a child is sick – and half of those mothers do not get paid when they do so.


  • Just 3.5 unpaid days off costs a family without access to paid sick days, on average, its entire monthly grocery budget.

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  • One-fifth of women workers report that they have lost a job or were told they would lose a job for taking time off due to personal or family illness.

yj2Success at Home: The District of Columbia’s Accrued Sick and Safe Leave Act of 2008 offers paid sick days to an additional 307,000 private sector workers in D.C. In assessing the impact of this law 5 years later, there was no evidence that businesses were ambivalent about staying in the city or that employers were discouraged from starting new businesses. In 2013, the D.C. City Council passed the Earned Sick and Safe Leave Amendment Act, expanding the original law to cover an additional 20,000 tipped restaurant and bar workers.  

The Healthy Families Act (S. 631/H.R. 1286) would provide workers with paid sick days to use to recover from illness, access preventive care or care for a sick family member.

Women, their families and our nation urgently need this vital political reform. Jewish Women International strongly supports public policies that strengthen economic security for women, especially those that combat unpaid sick days!  

This fact sheet was created with information provided by the National Partnership for Women and Families.    

We have to shift our understanding of the ‘sexual’ in sexual assault

Sara Yufa headshotBy Sara Yufa, JWI

In the last five years, 60% of rapes were not reported to police. Factoring in these unreported assaults, only 8% of rapes were actually prosecuted and only 3% of rapists will spend even a single day in prison.

Many sexual assaults go unreported because the victim fears she will be victimized again by peers and insensitive officials. This threat of public humiliation is due to a misconception of the cause of sexual assault, and a fear of slut shaming or being blamed for contributing to her attacker’s sexual desires.

The sexualization of sexual assault perpetuated the false popular myth that sexual assault is driven by sexual desire when in fact, sexual assault is an act of violence, power and control. Making the conversation about sexual desire diminishes the severity of the violence and minimizes the crime to uncontrollable human nature.

However, just as sexual conquests are misogynistically worn as badges of honor, so too have sexual assault cases surfaced via social media as a flex of power and sexual shaming of the victims. For example, the March 2013 case in Steubenville, Ohio, in which the victims’ pictures were posted online, and the similar, more recent July 2014 case in Houston, Texas. In Houston, the photograph was appropriated into a meme of the pose of the victim, and posts of people mocking the girl went viral on Twitter. Until the hashtag was flipped around to show support for the victim, it was used to mock the girl for being caught with her underwear down. No one publicly questioned how she arrived at the situation or why it was documented and made public.

When posts like this appear online, it increases the power aspect of the crime, marking sexual assault as something to be proud of and displayed for public viewing. Not only did the perpetrator rob the victim of her privacy when he assaulted her, he did it again by publishing the crime and forcing the private matter to be public.

And victims of sexual assault are discouraged from reporting the crime in other ways – such as lack of proof, fear of retaliation by the perpetrator, fear that authorities will treat them with hostility or not take the incident seriously, not knowing how to report the crime and a desire to hide the assault from family and others.

Sexual assault in the U.S. is especially prominent on college campuses: one in five women is a target of attempted or completed sexual assault while she’s a college student and college-aged women are four times more likely than any other age group to face sexual assault. Despite these facts, so many sexual assaults on college campuses go unreported. Date and acquaintance rapes are less likely to be reported than stranger rapes – so considering the nature of college social interaction, the likelihood of reporting sexual assault is lower on college campuses. When assaults are reported, universities often handle the case in a way that conceals the assailant, especially if they have a lot of influence at the university, such as athletes or officials.

On Thursday, July 17, JWI held a roundtable on sexual assault as part of its Summer Series for Interns and Young Professionals in the D.C. area. As a female college student, I feel it is important to have a thorough understanding of what sexual assault means and to know my rights and to understand that every sexual encounter should have clear established consent and that consent can come in the form of verbal or non-verbal indicators. It is also important to be an active bystander and step in if you see someone who is not in the position to show consent.

Specific to college campuses, under Title IX and the Clery Act schools are legally obligated to provide protection for students against discrimination based on sex, and provide transparency of crime on and around campus. Each school must have a sex discrimination policy and a Title IX coordinator easily available to students.

This information is vital for both women and men, girls and boys, as sexual assault can happen to anyone. To decrease the number of sexual assaults that happen every year, we have to shift our cultural understanding of sexuality and gender roles away from the traditional patriarchal system to one of equal, safe, loving relationships.

“It’s called prevention”: Changing the sexual assault on campus conversation

Ari Eisen headshotBy Ari Eisen, JWI

My freshman year in college there was a serial rapist on campus who committed six assaults, including two rapes. He was never caught. So I learned early on never to walk alone at night.

My sophomore year I experienced firsthand people drugging my friends at parties in order to take advantage of them. So I learned never to drink anything that was not mine – even if a friend poured it.

My junior year I studied abroad, and there were six incidents of sexual assault on campus by the same perpetrator who was, again, never caught. So I learned that this problem not only crosses state lines, but international borders.

I will be a senior this year. And I have never been more afraid to be a woman on a college campus.

I expected drinking and drugs. I expected pressure to look sexy and have sex. But I never expected the extent to which this massive cultural crisis would be relevant to my life. Indeed, the root of this problem is, undoubtedly, cultural. In preparation for college, girls are taught don’t walk alone at night, do not drink anything you did not see poured, do not dress promiscuously… The list goes on and on.

But these victim-focused statements are completely misguided. Sure, they aim to address the problem, but how about targeting the perpetrator? It’s called prevention. We should be teaching: drugging someone against their will is always wrong, attacking women when they are alone and vulnerable is a crime punishable by prison, the way a woman dresses is not any indication of her sexual availability. And while you may think these statements are obvious — to your friends, your kids, your classmates — from my experience on two college campuses, they most certainly are not.

This widespread societal problem is perpetuated by the media and popular culture. Celebrities, the music industry, athletes and commercial advertisements are messaging male entitlement and the objectification of women. They are tacitly condoning and even promoting behaviors that are certainly classified as gender-based violence and sexual assault.

Gender-based violence, specifically sexual assault on college campuses, is an epidemic – and yet it is the most underreported crime nationwide. JWI’s advocacy team and I participated in a series of three roundtable discussions aimed at addressing sexual assault on America’s college campuses. These sessions, facilitated by Senator Claire McCaskill and attended by Senators Tammy Baldwin and Richard Blumenthal, focused on the challenges surrounding the implementation of the Clery Act and the Campus SaVE Act. These acts require the annual collection and dissemination of statistics regarding crime (sexual assault, domestic violence, dating violence, and stalking) on campuses across the country. The roundtables also included an extensive discussion on victims’ rights under Title IX and how the criminal justice system can more effectively help victims and strengthen enforcement.

In coordination with the White House Not Alone campaign, these roundtables—and the movement’s mass of advocates and supporters—are finally bringing crimes of sexual assault on college campuses to the forefront of the conversation, and instilling in this country a sense of urgency that cannot be underplayed. The violence must end now.
Safe Smart Dating logo
One of the ways in which JWI works to address sexual assault on college campuses is through our Safe Smart Dating program. Safe Smart Dating is an innovative workshop that helps college students define, identify, and prevent dating abuse and sexual violence on campus.

I am proud to be part of an organization that is actively pursuing justice to repair this broken system, and am hopeful that the women just beginning their journeys through college will be able to feel safe, secure and confident in pursuing their academic and professional goals.

Womanhood, Judaism, and Unifying Grief: A Call to Action

Amanda Schwartz headshotBy Amanda Schwartz, JWI

Note to readers of this blog: An important part of analyzing literature is establishing the ethos of the author. So, before you read I would like to start with some background about myself.

My name is Amanda Schwartz and I’m one of JWI’s summer interns. I’m studying English Literature and Women’s Studies at the University of Maryland, College Park. With a passion for women’s and girl’s empowerment, I try to engage with the issues both locally and globally. I am a lead facilitator with a UMD initiative for girls’ empowerment in local elementary schools. Working with Power Up girls club I learn about obstacles to universal equality and equity in classes, and I have the privilege of mentoring young girls on a weekly basis. I will be a Tzedek Fellow in the fall semester with Hillel where I will have the opportunity to learn more about social justice and its intersection with Judaism.

On a more global scale, I have worked on campus advocacy for American Jewish World Service’s “We Believe” campaign to raise awareness about the International Violence Against Women Act (IVAWA) and have brought together students at UMD to learn about the Jewish obligation to Tikkun Olam (Repair the World) at the Global Women’s Justice Shabbat Dinner. I am learning more about the work that JWI does in its varied capacities—both locally and globally—to prevent and end domestic violence, support victims of abuse and support related legislation and political actions on nearby Capitol Hill. Working at JWI is a wonderful way to blend my mixed interests and learn about more tactics to combat issues facing women around the world.

Womanhood, Judaism, and Unifying Grief: A Call to Action

As a Jew, I am hit hard by the news that the bodies of the three kidnapped Israeli teens—Eyal, Naftali, and Gilad—have been found. The details of these tragic murders hurt my heart and I ache for the families of these innocent victims. I identify with the families who are mourning as if they are my own family; the pain of a single Jewish community crosses international borders and the sympathies from others hearing the news is in fact genuine and deep. I hope that the sadness Jews around the world are feeling is not for naught; if these boys’ perpetrators are not brought to justice it is an incomprehensible tragedy and shame, but if we stand by and allow violent crimes to continue in quantity and escalation because we do not take enough preventative action, shame on us, too.

The murders of these boys should act as a catalyst for more Jews to get involved in service—to try to cancel out the evil in the world with acts of kindness. In the coming days of aveilut (the traditional seven days of mourning), our nation should come together to mourn our losses, gird our strength and renew our commitment to pursuing righteousness. Our unequivocal duty as Jews to Tikkun Olam is vital to our unity as a nation and an important mechanism to channel our grief into something positive. Oftentimes the act of giving of ourselves is the most rewarding medicine.

On Tuesday morning, June 24, I was one of the many visitors to the Dirksen Senate Office Building on Capitol Hill, lined up in a long queue to try to gain access to the main room of the Combating Violence and Discrimination Against Women: A Global Call to Action hearing led by Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA), chair of the Senate Foreign Relations Subcommittee on International Operations and Organizations, Human Rights, Democracy, and Global Women’s Issues. I snagged a seat in the overflow room and listened to more than 10 influential (and might I say, badass) women and men testify about their inspiring work relating to global gender based violence.

As I listened and watched these distinguished speakers make impactful comments I felt a sense of community with the other D.C. interns, professionals and committed activists watching and listening beside me. The chilling statistics were difficult to comprehend and somewhat depressing in light of the harsh realities of stagnant politics; the seemingly endless list of futile attempts at bipartisan support efforts on all our minds. Yet, the dedication and passion that the speakers have for combatting violence and international horrors is uplifting and inspiring.

Sometimes it is easy to forget the impact that a single idea can have; but walking out from the fabulous panel including women from the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) and Women Waging Peace and Senator Boxer was a moment I will never forget. I was simply struck by the commitment to action that was taking place toward social justice and I realized I want to be engaged in these issues and have an impact on policy and social change.

As a Jew, I feel an overwhelming sense of grief and obligation—to continue working for strides in social justice. As a woman, I have a passion to fight for those whose voices are being silenced around the globe.

I urge all Jews to recommit to fighting for social change, human rights, and peace.

Shavuot: A time to celebrate close female friendships

By Jordana GilmanJordana Gilman Portrait

This year we will once again read the Book of Ruth during our Shavuot festivities, during the all-night study session or on Shavuot day. Many have weighed in on the story of Ruth the Moabite woman and her mother-in-law, with wildly varied interpretations about its merits and faults as a text in support of women. While writing this, however, I am feeling especially optimistic.

I assert that the Book of Ruth is a celebration of the bond that can form between two women and its power to transform lives. In the first chapter of Ruth’s story, we learn that she distances herself from her own Moabite culture by marrying Naomi’s son, an Israelite. When Ruth’s husband and brother-in-law die, Naomi is left widowed and childless. Ruth insists on staying on with Naomi and traveling with her to Bethlehem, declaring, “Wherever you go, I will go; and where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried.”

Ruth adjusts to her new life in Bethlehem securing food for her and her dear mother-in-law by gleaning in the fields of a man named Boaz, coincidentally a relative of Naomi’s. The plot progresses unsurprisingly: Naomi helps Ruth position herself as a candidate for marriage with Boaz. The plan is successful and Ruth has a son (Oved, King David’s grandfather!), the greatest gift a woman of the time could receive.

With Boaz, Ruth was able to continue the male lineage of Naomi’s kinsman, bringing acceptance and prosperity to Ruth and her mother-in-law. But beyond this significant societal accomplishment, Ruth and Naomi had something else that was very precious: each other. When the women of Bethlehem give Ruth’s son Oved over to Naomi for nursing, they introduce the baby as a symbol of Naomi’s blessings because he has been born of Naomi: “He shall be to you a restorer of your life, and a nourisher of your old age; for your daughter in law, who loves you, who is better to you than seven sons, she has born him.”

I recognize that this compliment is still framed by the patriarchal society in which they lived, but can we just appreciate this in historical context for a moment? Ruth is better to Naomi than seven sons, the most desirable permutation of children imaginable in that world, because Ruth loves Naomi and would do anything for her. The friendship bond between those two women held them together at a time when the rest of their family died or had abandoned them, and helped them to persevere and see better days.

The Book of Ruth may not read like a Gloria Steinem essay, but it represents the female experience with an element of tenderness and sensitivity. Both Naomi and Ruth experienced great loss and overcame it only with the love and support of each other. This Shavuot, let us celebrate the close female friendships in our lives and challenge ourselves to be more supportive, more giving, and more loving.

Jordana Gilman graduated Cornell University in January and will be attending SUNY Upstate Medical University in the fall.